the couch.

Thirteen years ago a newlywed couple went couch shopping for their new apartment in the city. The bought a comfy couch on sale for a great price and proceeded to get into a huge fight on where to put it in their new living room. They eventually worked it out and the couch found a spot that they could agree on and they made that apartment home.

That same couch moved with us seven more times to different homes and living rooms. City row houses and country farmhouses and a beach house in North Carolina. The couch was a constant. We brought five babies home from the hospital to this couch where I would sit for hours nursing and burping and changing diapers. I laid on this couch pleading to God to save my baby when we had our first miscarriage. I threw myself on this couch and bawled on the day I found out we were miscarrying twins. I spent many nauseous days laying on this couch. On sick days we spread blankets on its seats and it become a refuge of rest for children to get better. Couples too numerous to count have sat on this couch sharing laughter and stories and tears. Movie nights and forts and jumping antics have inhabited these cushions. Bedtime stories, afternoon naps, and winter nights cuddling with the man I love...all happened on this same couch.

The couch has held up remarkably well for all that has encompassed these thirteen years but lately it has been looking a little sad and saggy and I have found myself pining away something different. In September we bought a building with some close friends in downtown Lancaster that houses Mark's office and new co working space.We spent most of the fall working on the office and buying things to furnish the space. I think watching his office get transformed made me want to buy new furniture. I convinced myself a new leather couch was just what I wanted and would transform my living room. I found a leather couch on Craigslist that was a great price from Pottery Barn and even though it was way darker than I liked we decided to go for it. Mark drove an hour and half away to buy this couch and brought it home and...I hated it. It was way too dark, not at all the look I wanted. I have been drawn to the "boho" style with its warm earthy colors and plants on Pinterest and have been pining pictures of leather couches not taken into consideration that nothing in my house matches that look. Ugh. I cried. Over the couch that I hated. From disappointment and embarrassment that I didn't really know what I wanted. And I cried because I was now still stuck with my thirteen year old couch.

Long story short, the hated leather couch (which is actually beautiful) found its way to Mark's studio and looks amazing with its white walls and floors. The old velveteen rabbit of a sofa want back to its initial home. And you know what...I actually feel happy.

I learned what I don't want. The old couch looked much better in our home than the leather one. And I found a new love for our couch and all the faithful ways it has been there for us over the years.

Maybe a new couch is still in my near future but sometimes what you already have is better than you think. You just need a new perspective.